In the fall of 2017, my spouse and I noticed a change in our in our youngest child. They were not the funny, happy, loving outgoing kid we had always known. They did not want to go to school or out in public. We sat them down and asked what was wrong. They told us that they didn’t want to live anymore if they had to stay the gender with which they were born. Immediately we told them that we are going to support whatever they choose and asked what we can do to make this happen for them. We were fully onboard from the second they told us. They were still in elementary school at this time but since our child has started high school, our family has been terrorized nonstop.

Pride flags have been torn down more than once and any Pride themed outdoor decorations have been defaced or smashed outside our home. We have had to install multiple cameras on our property to try and stop the vandalism. At this point we have given up displaying most Pride things outside of our home. 

Lately it has reached a point where we are afraid for our child’s life, not just with the threats they are receiving but I am scared that this will drive them to hurt themselves. This year alone some of the things kids have said and done online to our child include sending graphic photos, daily messages that call them names and put them down, threatened their life, told our child to kill themselves, received video calls that when picked up they scream transphobic comments to them, hang up and call right back to do the same thing over and over. Our child has been asked what their private parts look like and if they would send pictures of them. Some of the kids doing the harassment have been as young as 13 years old. I am sure there is more, but our child is too scared to tell us. 

We have had the police, and the school involved multiple times. Do you know that if your child does these things online, they could be suspended at school for it?

This has seeped into almost every aspect of our life. It has had a financial toll on us as well as it has affected my spouses job, everyone in our families mental health, our other children and how or even if we go out in public. 

I know that our child is not the only one going through this. I want those parents and children to know you are not alone in this. For the other parents, even if your child hasn’t been involved in a situation like this you need to monitor their social media. Take a social media awareness course if possible. If kids, see something they need to say something immediately. Either to an adult they care about or a school staff member. For other kids that are being harassed as well please find someone you care about to talk with. There is help out there and you are not alone.

Lastly our family will always support our child and do everything that we can to make sure that every child can be their best self in a safe environment. We would rather change our kids pronouns and name five hundred times before we have to write their obituary. We are not prepared to lose our child over hate.